


Ache for You

by Pegasus_Eridana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus_Eridana/pseuds/Pegasus_Eridana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel discovers musicals and Dean discovers his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ache for You

**Author's Note:**

> ALL THE FLUFF ALL THE TIME. 
> 
> This is inspired by the song "Ache for You" by Ben Lee. (Can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y45kLVFvukE ).  
> I listened to it the other day and decided it was basically the perfect Destiel song, and voila, this was born. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> You have no idea how much better blackappleboyd makes these things. And just life in general.

“Sam, I do not understand. Why does Marius feel the need to sing all this to Cosette? Why can he not just speak to her? They would run considerably less risk of discovery that way.”

Sam sighed. In hindsight, perhaps introducing Castiel to the concept of the musical hadn’t been such a stroke of genius. Dean was out though, finishing up a job, and Sam had had to think of ways to amuse Castiel in the meantime. He sighed, trying to work out how to explain.

“I suppose…in musicals, the characters sing their deepest feelings. They sing when plain words just aren’t enough, when everything they’re experiencing just…spills out, I guess.” Sam trailed off, feeling rather stupid, but Cas nodded and turned his full attention back to Les Miserables, blue eyes narrowed in concentration. They continued to watch in silence, until Dean returned, causing Cas and Sam to frantically take out the DVD and hide it.

***

A few weeks and several sneaky musical-viewings afterwards, Sam and Castiel were once again alone in the bunker, Dean having taken Kevin out to, “have the day off to do normal teenager shi…stuff.” By mutual consent, they had waited until the roar of the Impala’s engine had faded into the distance, then slotted in _Singing in the Rain_. Once again, Castiel seemed to treat it as an exercise in understanding humanity better.

“It seems to be a running theme,” commented Castiel.

“Hmm? What is?” responded Sam, confused.

“After all the doubts and misunderstandings, it is usually with a song that everything is resolved between the hero and heroine, or their emotions upon reconciling are at least expressed through singing,” Cas mused, as if talking only to himself. “Curly and Laurie, Raoul and Christine, even Sophie and Sky. They all use the songs to declare their love, to get it across without all the confusion that has gone before. And it always works.”

Sam wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that, wasn’t even sure that Cas had been speaking to him, so he made a non-committal noise and they both turned back to the television.

***

At some point, the bunker had obviously housed someone, obviously an ancestor of Dean’s, who had kick-ass taste in music. In his downtime, Dean liked to go into the room housing the collection and browse through the LPs there, occasionally taking one out to listen to. It was dusty and peaceful and Dean was the only one who ever really went in there. It was starting to feel like a personal haven that only he knew about. Or at least it had felt like that up until now.  Dean turned the corner and halted at the frustrated voice coming from the room.

“No, none of these are right…need the right one…”

He entered the room, and was surprised to find Cas in there, hair standing up in all directions, covered in dust, looking like a small child caught in some kind of misdemeanour as he stared at Dean.

“Cas? Buddy? What’re you doin’ down here?”

“Just…um, I was just browsing the contents of the music here,” replied Castiel, refusing to meet Dean’s gaze.

“Trying to find anything in particular? Maybe I can help – haven’t seen that much of you lately, howabout we have a catch-up?”

“I…I am afraid I cannot at the moment, Dean, I have…things to do.” With that, the blue-eyed man walked past Dean, out of the room, and Dean tried to swallow the hurt that had risen in him at the rejection.

***

Later on that day, Dean cornered Sam.

“Hey, Sammy, you noticed anything…weird about Cas recently?”

At the incredulous cocked eyebrow his moose-brother quirked at him, Dean amended the question. “Anything weird _er_ about Cas recently?”

Sam shook his head.

“Not that I can think of. Are you talking about something in particular?”

“Nah, he’s just been a bit…distant lately, y’know? Wondered if he’s talked to you about anything…”

Sam gave a long-suffering sigh, closed the book he had been reading, and sat back in his chair, regarding his brother.

“Have you thought about maybe asking Cas yourself, Dean?”

When his older brother reddened and began stuttering, Sam cut him off. “Seriously, Dean? When are you actually going to just talk to the guy? You’ve been tiptoeing around each other for months if not longer, you need to get this…this whatever-it-is out in the open.”

“Thanks, Oprah,” Dean snorted. Sam glared and muttered something under his breath. “What was that, Sammy?”

“Just, I now totally understand what Cas was saying the other day, about how in musicals it’s so much easier to talk about feelings, ‘cause they…they just, the songs make everything clear, see? Cas explained it better, but that was the general idea.”

Dean snorted again to hide his worry. So that was what Cas had been looking for earlier...but what was the right song for his feelings about Dean? What if it turned out to be _I Hate Everything about You_ , or _Get Back_ , or, oh crap, _White Horse_? He didn’t think he could deal with Cas’ rejection, couldn’t lose his angel. Feeling suddenly sick, he stumbled to his room. Once again, Dean Winchester had managed to screw everything up.  

***

The next day, Dean walked through the kitchen where Sam, Kevin and Castiel were having breakfast.

“Going on a supplies run,” he announced. “Anyone need anything?”

“Gummy bears, please,” chirped Sam.

“More notepaper, and some mint gum,” said Kevin.

“My thanks Dean, I have everything I require,” Cas said quietly. Dean nodded and turned to leave.

As he walked towards his Baby, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around.

“Oh, hey Cas, remembered something you need?”

“No…not exactly,” replied Castiel, fidgeting slightly. “Just…um….” He suddenly seemed to come to a decision, and whipped a cassette tape out of his pocket, thrusting it at Dean. “Would you listen to this, please? I…I think it might be easier than talking about it.”

Dean’s heart plummeted. His thoughts were a mantra of _no, Cas please don’t do this, give me a chance, I love you I won’t accept this_ but he just forced a smile and took the tape.

“Sure thing, Cas. See you soon.”

***

Dean lugged his shopping through the parking lot and shoved it all on the back seat, driving back to the bunker’s garage without mishap. He killed the engine and sat for a moment, looking across at where Cas’ tape, still unopened, lay on the passenger side. Dean had been too much of a coward to listen to it while he’d been driving, but he knew that he had to listen to it now. He took a deep breath, and slotted the tape into Baby’s player. He shut his eyes, waiting for the blow to fall.

A snare drum beating a deep, strong rhythm filled the car, a guitar strumming smoothly over the top. It was strangely sensual, and Dean had a sudden image in his head of himself and Cas, together, holding each other, swaying their hips and their bodies to the beat. Then the lyrics started:

 _In the rain_  
I'm walking slowly  
There's a light  
In your apartment  
I don't know why  
I ache for you  
  
And it’s alright if  
You're undecided  
Or if you're scared  
That you might like it  
Or if it’s true  
I ache for you

Dean sat frozen as the music washed over him. It…it couldn’t be what it sounded like, could it? Because this song…it summed up everything he felt about Cas, the sheer _ache_ of being so near him all the time and yet unable to touch, to claim for himself, to protect, to love. He had been scared for so long of loss, of rejection, and this song seemed to be telling him that it was OK. That _Cas_ was saying that it was OK.

 __  
There's no rhyme  
And there's no reason  
You're the secret in the back of my skull  
There's no logic  
So please believe me  
Our love's confusing  
But it never gets dull  
  


Dean huffed a small laugh through the tears gathering in his eyes. His angel knew him better than he knew himself, it seemed. Confusing, but never dull, that was him alright.

 __  
It's getting late  
Anticipation  
And if we talk  
Communication  
And then you'll know  
I ache for you  
  
And yeah sometimes  
It's just desire  
Another problem that you really don't want  
But anyway  
I ache for you  
  


Dean’s heart clenched at the idea that he could ever think of Cas as a problem, or unwanted. How could he have gone this long without saying anything?

 __  
There's no rhyme  
And there's no reason  
You know the secret in the back of my skull  
There's no logic  
So please believe me  
My love's confusing  
But it never gets dull  
I ache for you  
  
And I'm tired  
Of so much wanting  
And what if -  
Don't even think it  
But why not?  
  


Why not, indeed? Crap, Dean had been such an idiot. His own self-doubt had held him back for long enough, and he’d needlessly made himself and Cas wait for something they’d apparently both wanted for a long time.

 __  
There's no rhyme  
And there's no reason  
You’re the secret in the back of my skull  
There's no logic  
So please believe me  
My love's confusing  
But it never gets dull  
  
  
I ache for you

As the last strains faded away, Dean opened his eyes slowly. A pair of bright blue eyes were staring at him apprehensively through the window.

Dean leapt out of the car and into his angel’s arms, kissing him firmly and surely. Cas gave as good as he got, lips yielding beautifully to Dean’s insistent tongue, body moulding itself to the hunter’s, hands reverently cupping Dean’s face.

“Cas, oh shit Cas, thought I’d lost you, thought I’d driven you away, that you didn’t want to be around me anymore, thought I’d screwed up like I always do…” Dean didn’t even notice the tears slipping down his cheeks until Castiel kissed them away.

“You could never drive me away,” Cas said softly. “I am yours forever. I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too,” Dean replied, beaming through his tears. “So what now?”

Castiel thought for a moment.

“Well, seeing as I declared myself the way they do in musicals, the rest will be like that too. We will have a happy ending.”

Dean laughed, wrapping his arms around Cas and kissing his neck.

“Really? Just like that?”

Cas slid his arms around Dean to return the embrace.

“Yes. This is a musical, Dean. There is always a happy ending.”  

“After all we’ve been through we damn well deserve one,” huffed Dean. Cas grinned up at him cheekily.

“And now we have established that we are both terrible at expressing our feelings except through song, we shall just have to continue doing that.”

Dean smiled and nuzzled the top of Cas’ head, humming softly. Gradually, words emerged.

“For here you are, standing there, loving me….whether or not you should. And somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good…”

Cas looked at Dean incredulously.

“How do you know-“

“Please! Who do you think introduced Sammy to _The Sound of Music_? Bought him the soundtrack? Had to be the friggin’ Mother Superior every time he wanted to re-enact it? Who do you think learned all the lyrics to-“

“Dean.”

“Hmm?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

And Dean did just that.  

**Author's Note:**

> The musicals mentioned are, in order: Les Miserables, Singing in the Rain, Oklahoma, Phantom of the Opera, Mamma Mia and The Sound of Music. 
> 
> The other songs Dean mentions are I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace, Get Back by The Beatles, and White Horse by Taylor Swift. They're basically all angsty/break-up songs. 
> 
> Feedback is basically the best thing ever. Just so you know...


End file.
